One of the categories of personal growth I am focusing on is in the area of inclusive behaviors. I do not claim to be an expert, more of a work-in-progress. It is something I am conscious of and work on daily, not from a place of fear, but rather from a place of, “How can I get better?” In what ways can I keep expanding the mental landscape to bring my best self to the day, and how can I empower others to do the same? One valuable inclusive behavior is to assume positive intent. Below are a few thoughts and ideations on the topic.
Examine Your Assumptions
Overall, assumptions are not the optimal modus operandi for work and personal relationships. Assumptions often reflect either arrogance or ignorance rather than intelligence. However, if we are going to make assumptions, then assume that others’ intentions are positive. This mindset allows the space to give others the benefit of the doubt. Assume people are doing the best they can.
Examine Your Expectations
Sometimes our minds can play tricks on us, and we fall into a rabbit hole of spinning messages that can lead us to think the worst in people. Or we get frustrated with others, especially our loved ones, with the burden of our expectations. We believe we are the experts on how our family members should behave and act.
We also have expectations and hopes for humanity that people will behave in a certain way that is civil in their intentions and actions. Maybe we even put that pressure on ourselves – that we expect ourselves to be full blazing, game-on as our best self every day all the time. And we get frustrated when that doesn’t happen. What helps is to re-set our expectations.
Assume Positive Intent
The mindset thinking and belief that others have positive intentions helps re-set our expectations of others. By assuming positive intent, we meet others from a place of listening with a purpose to understand instead of an area of expectation with a bias toward judgment.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. To assume positive intent allows for deeper inroads toward connection, understanding, and compassion with those we relate.
The Challenge of Today
It is challenging to keep a positive mindset amid a pandemic health crisis. It is probably the best time to work on a positive mindset and intensify our intention toward kindness and assuming positive intent.
First, be aware of the stress and the worry we carry as a result of the crisis. For me, the tension feels like it squeezes you into a funnel, where the pressure becomes overwhelming at times. Life seems to weigh heavily on us.
The good news is that you eventually push through the other side of the funnel, and life becomes a little more balanced with perspective again, even if it is momentary. The accelerators that help me work through the stress and internal pressure are acknowledging the strain and doing some sort of physical activity, such as exercise workouts, walking, or working in the yard, along with meditation and deep breathing exercises.
Second, realize it is arduous sometimes to be laser-focused on assuming positive intent, especially amid chaos. It is essential to acknowledge the stress and the intensity of life. Name it. Own it. The act of recognizing stress gives us power over it rather than the other way around – the stress owning us.
Recap – Assume Positive Intent
If you are going to assume, assume positive intent. If you are going to have a bias, have a bias toward kindness. Let your intention drive your actions toward giving others the benefit of the doubt. Allow your opinions and inclinations to lean toward goodness, toward the positive.
The only assumption to make is assuming the positive intent of others. Give people the benefit of the doubt. To assume positive intent leads to a deeper level of understanding, intensifies our listening skills, and strengthens our empathic muscles.
Your Turn
In what ways can we hold the other in gentleness and compassion? What are the ways we can embrace others with empathy instead of expectation?
What works for you? Your thoughts?
Comments always welcome.
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