What have been your sources of lessons in authenticity? What helps you keep it real in life?
A Resource for Seeking Deeper Meaning
I have a Masters of Divinity, and during my time in the seminary, I took several preaching courses. These preaching classes were some of the best of my curriculum at the school of theology.
We would begin each class by reading poetry aloud to help us set our mindset and focus. Someone read the following excerpt from the Velveteen Rabbit that captivated my heart. I was hooked on reading both children’s books and poetry as one of the inroads to seeking deeper meaning in life.
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.” “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, or “bit by bit?” “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
Keeping It Real
Becoming real is a code word for authenticity. There are a lot of different experiences I have had where I have garnered insights on authentic living. Some of my favorite lessons in growing authentically and keeping it real in life come from The Velveteen Rabbit.
Lessons in Authenticity
- It is not how you are made, but what happens to you – your experiences in life and how you respond to those moments make a difference in who you are.
- Becoming real sometimes hurts – a lot. Authenticity provides an inner strength that helps you bend and not break from the hurt. Shit happens in life – how will you deal with it? Can you be OK in the painful moments and receive them as part of living?
- Becoming real does not happen all at once. Authenticity is not a one and done experience. Genuine love takes a long time. Becoming real is a process that takes a lifetime of shaping and growing into your centered, best self.
- Once you are real, you cannot be ugly – no matter if a few people don’t understand and judge you that way. Living from your authentic self is a work of magnificent beauty that comes from within. Your physical appearance is not part of the equation.
- When someone else truly loves you for who you are, then you become real. Living from your true self is not a solo event. A relationship of unconditional love at the deepest center of your being is the heart of the matter in authentic living.
Your Turn
What are your essential lessons in authenticity? What helps you keep it real in life?
Comments welcome here.
Margaret Toland says
Good Morning Denise, (from New Zealand) I have just found your blog on a google search for this book title. Two days ago I attended a work shop on introducing play-mobile toys as a tool to use in my counselling sessions. At the end when sharing my thoughts and experience as a participant in the group which was enriching, connecting with others, and affirming my intuitive experiences. Then out of the blue the title of the book ‘The Velveteen Rabbit’ came to mind, in that moment I was mystified. Since pondering on this experience I identify to being real and loved. Also my curiosity is at play to search google too and here I am on your blog…. Reading about your journey as a religious sister, the inspirations and choices initiating the changes you made rings a bell in me. I too was a religious for 32yrs with a missionary congregation and through powerful dreams between 1992 – 1995 was guided to change direction in my life and what has unfolded is the awareness of other gifts I have been given to nurture and grow and now support others along their journey of healing. Initially I trained as a nurse then went on to midwifery and felt very at home with working among families with young children. Now at 81 what has grown and continues to be present within me is the WORD in Scripture ….“Papa” Reading point 5 on your reflection on your reflection of authenticity resonates within me. What i am currently pondering is putting the dreams I was given,which I had also drawn, into a book so that others may benefit and reflect on their journey and the power of the Spirit to guide them.
Denise Pyles says
Thank you so much for sharing Margaret – what an amazing story. I hope you put your dreams in a book. I look forward to reading your insights. Thank you.