I have been thinking a lot recently about how we engage and connect with others with greater intention. Tolerance and respect are part of the path toward connection. Compassion and empathy are the stepping stones toward a deeper level of belonging and community.
The Path Toward Connection
A few definitions of terms:
- Tolerance – a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward the opinions, beliefs, and practices that may differ from our own.
- Respect – esteem for or a sense of a person’s worth or excellence, a personal quality or ability.
- Empathy – the psychological identification with or experiencing the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
- Compassion – a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
Compassion and Empathy – Respect at the Base
I grew up in a family where the foundation of relating to others is respect. My parents taught us that there is a sense of worth in every human being, and you treat everyone with respect no matter who they are, dignitary or janitor, everyone. Kindness is part of the equation, the behavior, and action resulting from being respectful. Once this foundation of respect is present, then you can grow towards empathy and compassion.
There is an inner ache of longing for more understanding, intimacy, and a soulful connection with another. Compassion and empathy are the way, the stepping stones along this lifelong journey of belonging.
Characteristics of Empathy
Empathy has several valuable characteristics:
- Sensitive awareness of others’ feelings and emotions
- Relational – understanding what others are experiencing
- Heartfelt listening
- Genuine care for the other
- Patience
Thoughts on Compassion
Compassion means:
- Mindful and intentional connection
- A willingness to sit with another who is suffering
- A commitment that you will not abandon someone in their time of need
- Inclusion of yourself in the experience (self-compassion)
- Saying with your actions, “I won’t leave your side; I am with you.”
Likewise, to experience compassion is a profound moment of connection with someone and an intimate experience where you genuinely understand and connect with another in their pain and vulnerability. Compassion is one of the greatest gifts of unconditional love we can give to another.
Compassion as Waiting
I love the poetry of David Whyte, and in thinking about compassion, I am drawn to his poem, “Everything is Waiting for You.” His words remind me that compassion is about a shift from loneliness to a sense of solidarity with others. Think of compassion as waiting, waiting with someone as they endure their pain. We are not alone in our suffering.
Your Turn
What are your thoughts on empathy and compassion? In what ways do you experience profound moments of belonging?
I welcome your comments. Thank you.
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