How do you deal with the difficult challenges of life? How does your spiritual practice help you through the struggle?
Rising Strong as a Spiritual Practice by Brene Brown, PhD, LMSW.
This is an Audible book of a presentation on the topic of spirituality from Brene Brown. She begins with a clear definition of spirituality.
Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are inextricably connected to one another by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and belonging.” – Brene Brown
Spiritual Practice
For Brown, spirituality is one of the critical components to help overcome the struggle in life. She highlights a few more points of interest on spirituality:
- That thing that is bigger than us is called God
- Not talking about faith, dogma, or religion
- Talking about spirit – love, belonging, and connection
- Deeply held belief that we are connected to each other in an unbreakable way
- Women and men who love wholeheartedly have a profound spiritual life
- Spirituality brings a sense of meaning, perspective, and purpose to our lives
- The absence of spirituality is suffering
- Belonging is in our DNA
- We are wired for story
Because story is part of the wiring of our brains, Brown articulates three areas or phases our brain goes through to manage the difficult. When something bad happens, our brain needs a story in order to recognize emotion and feeling.
Reckoning
The reckoning is the first story our brain tells us when something challenging happens. Brown likens this to Anne Lamott’s phrase of “shitty first drafts,” or SFD’s. Brown encourages us to write down that first story, that shitty first draft that stitched together the initial story. She goes on to say that when you write down your story, you give yourself power to understand and unfold the meaning of story, to what is real and true.
Rumble
Next comes the time when you start to rumble with the initial story and begin to ask, “what is true? What is fear-based?” Rumble with the shitty first draft of the story to get to what is real and what you need to understand in the story.
Revolution
Revolution happens when you work through the initial story and integrate what you have learned into your life. Integration means to make whole. Revolution is the process of becoming whole by owning and folding the story into your life. For Brown, revolution happens when you are able to say to yourself, “I own it; this happened, and here’s what I learned.”
If you own the story, you can write the ending. If you deny the story, the story owns you. – Brene Brown
Four Most Challenging Rumbles in Life
Brown dives deeper into the four hardest rumbles in the shitty first drafts of life. These are some of the most difficult topics we face in life:
- Grief
- Grief is about longing, loss, and feeling lost
- We live in a culture that has zero tolerance for grief; yet, we need to acknowledge our grief – takes courage
- Can you give yourself and others the time needed to grieve?
- Forgiveness
- In order for forgiveness to happen, something has to die
- Forgiveness is about the human story of death and re-birth for something new
- What has to die within us for something new to be born?
- Generosity
- When we are clear on our boundaries and can stand in our own integrity then we can be generous to others
- Assume positive intent – trust that people are doing the best they can in life (difficult to do sometimes)
- What does it mean for us if people were actually doing the best they could?
- Compassion
- Compassion is recognizing the light and dark in our shared humanity, and a commitment to practicing loving kindness in ourselves and others in the face of suffering
- Means a commitment and spiritual practice – knowing your darkness well enough that you can sit in the dark with others
- Can you be with others in the hard stuff?
In what ways are you owning your story? How is your spirituality helping you write the next chapter in your life?
I welcome your comments.
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