Let me tell you what happened one Sunday morning, and how a Gospel Choir, an interjection of discontent, and the ritual gesture of the sign of peace impacted me.
The Gospel Choir
I direct a Gospel choir in a Catholic church. We sing a little differently than the norm, and yet we are within the rules – welcoming everyone, being inclusive, singing wholeheartedly. Each Sunday during our warm-up, we utilize the time to make sure all the instruments are in tune, sound checks are balanced, do a vocal warmup and quick review of the music lineup, and then a final check to make sure we are crisp on our intros and exits of the music.
Throughout the warm-up, I animate and inspire the choir, encouraging all of us to set our hearts and mindset on the Gospel, by helping us understand the “why” of our singing that particular morning.
Finally, I conclude the warm-up with a mini fervorino (a brief sermon) and the Lord’s Prayer. Then we enter a period of silence with the rest of the community several minutes before the service begins.
This cadence of preparation is our consistent routine each week until there was an interjection of discontent, and I faced an opportunity to practice what I preach right on the spot.
The Interjection of Discontent
On a recent Sunday morning, during the warm-up time, a parishioner from across the church, while sitting in the front pew, yelled at us and told us to be quiet. The person shouted that some people were trying to pray in silence. I turned around, acknowledged the outburst, and then turned back to the choir and kept going with our preparations for worship.
By the time we finished and settled into the quiet time before liturgy, I was fuming inside. The outburst of anger and frustration reminded me of the vitriol that comes from a few in the community who do not like our music.
The Why
That Sunday morning I stewed and prayed with my anger, including some four-letter words (silently of course). I just had it, tired of having our choir singled out by a few parishioners who do not like us.
Some people ask me, and I often ask myself, “Why do I stay?” I choose to stay because the choir is one of the best choirs I have directed in my 40 years of music ministry. They are a community of the Gospel by welcoming everyone who joins regardless of who they are, singing what they pray, praying what they sing, and being a genuine community of inclusive love. They consistently practice what they preach. It doesn’t get much better than that in community.
Right before our opening song, I leaned forward to the choir and musicians and told them to sing and play wholeheartedly. “Don’t hold anything back. Give your all just like you do every Sunday. Keep being who you are.”
The Sign of Peace
Throughout the liturgy I kept thinking of my Mother and her witness of forgiveness and healing. I kept hearing her say to me, ” go over there and shake this person’s hand. You don’t have to say anything, only shake their hand.” Give them the sign of peace. I needed to do this. I resolved internally to do that and as discreetly as I could.
During the sign of peace before the communion rite, I walked over to the person and stood in front of them. I waited for them to give the gesture of peace to the people on their left, right, and behind them. When this person turned around and looked at me, I held out my hand and said, “Peace be with you.” I meant those words in gesture, vocal expression, and from my heart. The person shook my hand and responded, “Peace be with you.” Just like that, the ritual was quickly over. In the brief moment of intention, I felt at peace, and I needed the peace before receiving the bread and the wine.
The Inspiration
Every Sunday, I call my Mom and check in with her. I have been doing this since I left home for college at 18. When I called her this particular Sunday, I told her the story of what happened, what I did, and why she was an inspiration for me.
The Familiy Reunion
Several years ago at a family reunion, two of my uncles were present. They had not spoken to each other in years, two brothers wounded by broken trust. My Mom knew the significance of the two of them being there at our gathering. She went over to one of my uncles, the younger of the two, and asked him to do her a favor. The favor was to go to his older brother and shake his hand. He didn’t have to do anything else or say anything, only shake his hand.
My Mother knew that healing and forgiveness needed to happen. She asked that favor of my uncle, and he took her words to heart. My uncle did what my Mother requested. He walked over to his older brother and shook his hand. There was a handshake of sincerity and a brief, friendly conversation. The connection was a healing moment of grace for our family. (My older uncle died within the year after this encounter).
The Grace
When I told my Mother what I did at church by giving this person the sign of peace, by shaking their hand, she was affirming, telling me that I did the right thing. I knew that in my heart. It was as if she was also saying to me internally, “Be better than your anger. Practice what you preach.”
I look forward to directing, singing, and praying another Sunday with the Gospel choir.
Your thoughts? Comments always welcome here.
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