How do you learn from your mistakes? How do you fail forward?
What helps you grow from failure?
Failure. Mistakes. Errors. No one is exempt from failure. Everyone makes mistakes. The notion of a perfect human being is a misnomer. Fact: failure happens – to all of us. We all make mistakes. How we learn from them makes the difference in life.
A mistake tells you there’s something else you need to learn. Something more needs improving.
Don’t Practice Errors
Several years ago while studying classical guitar, my instructor would continually coach me in a mantra-like cadence, “Do not practice mistakes.” He stressed that practice makes permanent, so don’t practice errors. Whenever and wherever you make a mistake, stop and then work through the measure or section. Practice slowly at first until you can play through the interval flawlessly. Then practice at tempo. Again, once you can play through the section error-free, then you can go on to the next measure. My instructor’s advice stays with me.
His other advice that sticks with me is to learn a piece of music by starting at the end, the last measure, then work your way back to the beginning. When you make a mistake, stop. Then take the time to learn where and why you made the error in the music. Practice slowly, going over the fingering of each note and practice the section until it is error-free. Then practice at tempo with no mistakes before moving back to the next measure. Repeat this until you reach the beginning, and then play the piece forward to the end. My instructor mentioned this technique is also an excellent way to memorize the music. His point: Learn from the mistake. Understand why you made the error. Slow down. Practice with purpose to improve. Fail forward.
No Mistakes, Only Great Recoveries
With humans, there is no such thing as perfection. (Full disclosure: I am a recovering perfectionist). On the weekends, I direct a volunteer Gospel Choir. One of my mantras I tell them about singing and playing is, “There are no mistakes, only great recoveries.” I learned this kernel of wisdom from one of my theology professors during graduate school for my Masters of Divinity. During a class on worship and ritual, she used that phrase often to remind us that mistakes happen. We are not perfect, and there is no such thing as flawless worship. She stressed that it is essential to keep moving forward in the liturgical ritual and not let your mistakes be a distraction to other people’s praying. In other words, don’t telegraph your mistakes. Recover quickly, and keep moving forward.
Fail Forward
Fall forward. This advice came from my oldest brother, Tom. He was always about a growth mindset, having a positive attitude, and learning from your mistakes. He reminded me that progress happens in the learning and the constant moving forward toward your objective or goal. Failure will occur again, and you may go back now and then. The essential point is to keep learning and growing. Let your mistakes propel you toward improvement.
In the last year of his life, during his battle with lung cancer, he shared the following insights with my family and me:
Fail and fall forward toward getting better. Failure is inevitable. Learning from the mistake is optional. Deciding to grow and get better is up to each one of us. Choose to fail forward in life.
How does failure propel you toward personal growth?
What have you learned about yourself from past failures?
I welcome your comments.
Gratitude and appreciation to my classical guitar instructor, Steven Novacek, on the concept of not practicing errors; to my theology professor, Sister Kathleen Hughes, RSCJ, on the wisdom of no mistakes, only great recoveries; and in memory of my brother, Charles Thomas Pyles, Jr., whose spirit keeps encouraging me toward living fully as my best self, even with all my flaws.
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